Sometimes the best part of the night happens in the smoking area, and sometimes you spend the whole night in the smoking area. Events are always from one extreme to another – one minute you\u2019re witnessing a fist fight, blink, and you\u2019re suddenly coming up after taking a green Adidas pill.<\/p>\n
\u201cHave you got a lighter, mate\u201d<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n There\u2019s so many \u201cHave you got a lighter\u201ds knocking about, almost always smoking menthol cigarettes. But it\u2019s usually the Rothmans or Chesterfield smokers who hand one over, it\u2019s like a scene from Romeo and Juliet. Beware of \u201cHave you got a cigarette, mate\u201d, which is \u201cHave you got a lighter, mate\u201ds best friend. Who\u2019s willing to give up their Marlboro Gold to this fuckface who doesn\u2019t even smoke? The best thing to do in this situation is get your mate who smokes rollies to give them the materials to roll their own. It does backfire sometimes, as you get asked to actually roll it for them. At this point you punch them in the face (don\u2019t actually punch them in the face).<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAre you selling any MDMA?\u201d<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n For a 5ft Asian girl, I actually get this question a lot – I don\u2019t know what it is. These people tend to share a Mayfair superking between five of them. \u201cHow much MDMA can I buy for 15 quid?\u201d, they\u2019ll say, and you will hear someone shout \u201cI can give you 100 percent purity! 40 pound!\u201d from the other side of the smoking area. Yeah, sure it is, mate. Sure it is.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m having a terrible time!\u201d<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s always a girl, probably on her own or with a mate with their head between their legs, crumpled in the corner crying about something that\u2019s definitely really important, probably because her Camel Blue cigarette has gone out and she can\u2019t find her lighter, maybe or she\u2019s dropped her iPhone 6 that her mum got for her for tidying her room. Oh dear, now she\u2019s gone and bloody spilled her last drop of her vodka and lemonade. \u201cI\u2019m having a terrible time!\u201d makes you wonder, not only what is she crying about, but how the fuck did she managed to get her drink outside?<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAre you having a good time?!\u201d<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n Usually a guy pinged off his face after taking too many smarties, too fucked to actually smoke anything, but he\u2019ll be ripping his water bottle up whilst jumping up and down on a table. Every single time you go to the smoking area, he\u2019s always there, 99% of the time still in the same spot. He hasn\u2019t spotted \u201cI\u2019m having a terrible time!\u201d yet, but maybe something beautiful can come out of this.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWhat are you on?!\u201d<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n They pull out a cigarette from their pocket, not a box, because they\u2019ve pinched two straights from their mum – My best guess is Players. But they\u2019ll evolve into \u201cHave you got a cigarette, mate\u201d. And they\u2019re all up in your face, jumping up and down excitedly, \u201cWhat are you on? Have you taken a pill, a line, what? what is it?!!!\u201d I\u2019m high on life, you dickhead. Go and enjoy your night.<\/span><\/p>\n \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u00a0The smoking area is an enchanted portal that leads to the quest of discovery, and sometimes it\u2019s the people along the way that make it. Reporter: Larry Gliddon | Sub-editor: Emily Fortune Sometimes the best…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":476,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42],"tags":[1415,3769,4483,5696,6753],"class_list":["post-14179","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-entertainment","tag-clubs","tag-london","tag-nightlife","tag-smoking-area","tag-voice-of-london"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.westminster.ac.uk\/thevoiceoflondon\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14179","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.westminster.ac.uk\/thevoiceoflondon\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.westminster.ac.uk\/thevoiceoflondon\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.westminster.ac.uk\/thevoiceoflondon\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/476"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.westminster.ac.uk\/thevoiceoflondon\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14179"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blog.westminster.ac.uk\/thevoiceoflondon\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14179\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.westminster.ac.uk\/thevoiceoflondon\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14179"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.westminster.ac.uk\/thevoiceoflondon\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14179"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.westminster.ac.uk\/thevoiceoflondon\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14179"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}