{"id":25089,"date":"2018-11-08T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-11-08T10:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thevoiceoflondon.co.uk\/?p=25089"},"modified":"2018-11-08T10:00:00","modified_gmt":"2018-11-08T10:00:00","slug":"the-realities-of-dating-while-plus-size","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.westminster.ac.uk\/thevoiceoflondon\/the-realities-of-dating-while-plus-size\/","title":{"rendered":"Too fat for love? The realities of dating while plus size"},"content":{"rendered":"

Whether you’re looking for love online or offline; navigating your way through dating is like playing a hard game of charades. Constantly guessing, and wondering whether the signs and messages sent your way mean a future Facebook relationship status update or a one-night stand.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Regardless of who you are, dating can be difficult in today’s hookup culture. However, for plus size<\/a> women, their experiences differ significantly to their ‘straight-sized’ friends. To understand just how different it can be, The Voice of London spoke with several plus size women on their encounters dating in London.<\/p>\n

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Dating apps<\/h4>\n

“I feel like I’m inclined to put my body type in my bio,” says Joy, 25.<\/p>\n

“For example, I’m on Bumble and even though I have full body pictures. I still make a comment about it in the ‘about me’ section, so there’s no confusion,” she says. “I don’t know what it is, but I guess you could say I fear someone would be confused or feel a type of way when they see me in person.”<\/p>\n

“Most bigger girls know their angles,” she says.<\/p>\n

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Image courtesy of Joy<\/p><\/div>\n

Unfortunately, the worry that you’ll disappoint your online match, in some way, when you meet them in real life is shared. The decision to outline that you’re ‘far from skinny’, suggests something more. Potentially how inherently fatphobic society is.<\/p>\n

WooPlus, a dating app for plus-sized women, carried out a survey in 2016, which revealed that 71% of it’s 1,000 ‘curvy’ users reported having been fat-shamed by men on “regular” dating apps.<\/p>\n

Cosmopolitan Magazine<\/a> reported that while 29% of WooPlus’ users said they had never been called out on their weight, many of those did note that they have been rejected due to their size.<\/p>\n

It would seem plus-size women are having a much tougher time than their ‘straight-sized’ counterparts when finding love online.<\/p>\n

What is the London dating experience like?<\/p>\n

Stephanie, 29, said: “I’m either ignored, or I’m sent rather horrible, hypersexualised messages from men who have assumed that because I’m fat and black – I am a dominatrix.”<\/p>\n

“Normally I would get a message that would start off with something like \u2018you chocolate goddess – you looking to f**k?\u2019. I ignore these messages, and when I do, I\u2019ll get another message from them calling me a fat b*tch,” she says.<\/p>\n

Fetishisation is common amongst most of the women we spoke with. Plus-size model, Aliss Bonyt shared a glimpse of her reality with dating by giving us access to her Tinder<\/a> profile.<\/p>\n