It feels like I have been repeating some of the same patterns and life lessons over and over again recently. I’d feel great, amazing even, and then something happens that makes me doubt/question/unnecessarily stress myself out.

This has happened in my work, academic and personal life repeatedly in the last few months.

So the question I have been asking myself is: why? Why do I feel like I am living out  Groundhog Day?

The answer? I don’t freaking know yet. But I do know that I am willing to take the mask off, dive in and try and figure it all out.

But first things first: items I have learned today:

I still seem to love to stress myself out.

But right now it’s in the context of my job.

I am currently managing a pretty big job at work that could have a lot of implications if it doesn’t go well.

I love Project Management, and I am actually really good at it.

But I’ve noticed recently, when something doesn’t go to plan or work out the way in which I envisioned it (which is a very natural part of life), I am the first to stress out and think everything has gone off the track. Partially this is why I am good at my job, because I will stop at nothing to try to course correct and get everything moving forward again. The only issue is, I really do a great job of stressing myself out in the process.

When I am course correcting and getting things back on track, I realise it’s quite hard for me to remember everything that has already been accomplished. I am so focused on fixing what is going wrong that I forget about everything that has previously gone right.

Another thing that I need to try and understand.

Why is it so hard for me to remember the positives, especically when I’m going through the thick of it?

When I do take that time to breathe and slow down, I realise just how much has already been accomplished. It helps to put the obstacle in perspective and let me see that even though I might be right in the middle of it, I will work through it, get there in the end, and be so much better because of it.

So how does this tie into Vulnerability? Because I have recently realised the power in sharing it with all of you. For years now I have felt like I needed to go through things on my own, that exposing my struggles or asking for help is a weakness, what I am realising now is the strength and beauty in it all.

For further investigation of this, I HIGHLY recommend Dr. Brene Brown.

Video here: and here:

I’m convinced she is one of future BFF’s.