Voice of London

Females are sharing their different ICK experiences and whilst some of them are understandable, some will leave you perplexed. 

The term ‘ICK’ stems from the popular reality television series, Love Island.

It started on season 7 when contestant Olivia Atwood used the term to express her loss of attraction to co-star and Geordie Shore star Sam Gowland. 

She explained, “When you’ve seen a boy, and got the ick, it doesn’t go […] It’s caught you, and it’s taken over your body. It’s just ick. I can’t shake it off.”

It was since Love Island that the ‘ick’ became a popular trend.

On season 7 of Love Island, we saw the trend continue with Priya Gopaldas expressing that she had got the ick from Brett Stainiland.

But what is the ick and does the ick mean there’s no going back?

We spoke to Teresha Young, Relationship Master Coach who tells us all we need to know.

So, what exactly is the ick?

She said, “The ick is a dating and relationship term that if you’re experiencing it, can leave you slightly confused. You might be thinking “why do I feel so instantly turned off by this person?

You might feel suddenly repelled or disgusted by the person you’re dating when you find something about them that’s particularly unappealing, and puts you off the idea of being with them romantically.

It sometimes comes from the smallest of actions, such as the use of certain emojis, typos, being picky with their food in a restaurant, bad breath, their constant positive vibes, artificial nail infills needing to be done, a pimple, prominent nose hairs… the list goes on.

And here’s the thing: it can hit you unexpectedly at any stage in the dating journey with someone.”

Why do we get the ick?

“There are many reasons why we get the ick. Understanding if it’s genuine or superficial is important.

It could be that your values, principles and belief systems aren’t aligned with the other person.

There could be an element of self-sabotage running the show, leading you to develop plenty of reasons, excuses and justifications for why you’re turned off by someone.

Perhaps your unconscious bias or an insecure attachment style is kicking in and triggering the ick.

Social media can also influence the way you’re approaching dating and what you’re choosing to see as an ick.

Let’s also talk about the possibility of past relationship wounds, traumas and patterns that need healing and resolving.

All of the above and much more could be causing the ick and stopping you from having a more optimistic, enjoyable and successful dating journey.”

Is the ick a normal feeling to experience?

“Our emotions are powerful indicators to be witnessed and the ick is a normal feeling to have. It can be viewed as a red flag, a warning sign that something isn’t quite right.

Though, there’s a ton of people that aren’t spotting or nurturing the green flags (the positive features) that exist in a connection with someone too.”

Is it possible to come back from the ick?

“It’s often felt that once you’ve got the ick, there’s no turning back because it can be quite a difficult feeling to let go of.

However, it can be easy to focus on the symptoms rather than address the cause, so it’s essential to think about what’s causing it.

Also, if external influences such as social media and other people’s opinions are dictating your perception of icks, you have to shift your mindset to focus on what you want and what is true to you, disregarding the rest. You are creating your reality.”

Does the ICK mean we cannot see that person in the same light again?

“Not necessarily. You can take complete ownership of your dating journey. The ick doesn’t have to control you or your decisions, especially if there isn’t any real substance to it.

If, however, after you’ve done a deep dive about how you feel and you still feel a disconnect, then perhaps it’s time to part ways with grace and leave their self-esteem intact.”

How should we cope with the ICK?

“Coping with that ‘icky’ feeling might feel foreign to you at first. However, embracing both the similarities and differences that exist in a connection with someone, can make for an exciting and rewarding dating experience.

That being said, you’ll have to decide whether to have a ‘tough talk’, and tell the person how you feel or stay silent. You’ll have to follow your intuition and use your discernment on that.

Whenever there’s something that is bothering you about another person or situation and it’s really playing on your mind, it can be such a great release to speak up and talk to them about it and see if you can create a win-win situation for you both.”

We went on to ask the public what their icks were and brought you a list of different icks below.

• When he complains about the price of something in front of the staff

• When he has a long tongue and sticks it out in videos.

• When he has bad breath and bad body odour.

• When he is rude to the waitress/ bad manners.

• When he makes a joke, no one laughs.

• When he is overly sensitive.

• When his trousers are so low, they’re about to drop off.

• When he eats with their mouth open and makes too much noise.

• When he snores so loud and makes weird noises during their sleep.

• When he says ‘sowwy’ instead of sorry.

• Guys who use filters on their photos.

• If he falls over and you see his bum.

• If he has an android phone.

• If he is a Tik Tokker.

• If he wears Birkenstocks

• If he wears puma or rebook

• If he is wearing creased air forces that have lost colour and really should go in the bin.

• When his beard is not connecting.

• When he raps to you.

• When his card declines.

• Fruity chewing gum.

So, here we have it. These are the icks that are making women feel sick. Lads, if you are reading, take notes!

Writing: Tania Alasady | Subbing: Istvan Botond Beres