Voice of London

Lockdown restrictions are forcing a lot of young couples in a quite uncomfortable situation: a long-distance relationship. While they tend to look romantic at the cinema, in reality, they hide several difficulties that you will need to face if you want your relationship to survive the lockdown.

I have been in a long-distance relationship for the past two years, and this is my advice on how to get through it.

• Schedule your time together

This might seem stupid now that everyone has a lot of free time to spend inside the house with probably nothing to do. Why the need for a schedule? You can just call whenever and they will probably be free. Except that they will not.

We will indeed have a lot more free time than we are used to but, as sure as that, we will find a way to fill it with something to do. 

Chances are you will try to call them while they are in the shower and they will call you back in the middle of your work out session. Know each others’ schedules and plan to include some time for the two of you each day.

• Do things together

Especially during the lockdown, it is easy to run out of things to say.

Each day is probably really similar to the one before and you might have nothing exciting to share with one another. Instead of letting silence take a hold of your conversation, try doing something.

This could be a way to keep your traditions going: if you are used to having breakfast together, do so on facetime. If you were watching a Netflix series together, you can watch it in synchro and comment on what happens through texts or over the phone. 

• Make plans for the future

A really good thing to do together is planning future dates and experiences. You can think of someplace where to spend a weekend as soon as the situation improves, or even start thinking about the summer holidays.

This way you can get a lot of new and different ideas for the future and also give your mind something lighter to think about. This will, without any doubt, improve your mood and make you both excited for the future!

• Take advantage of technology

Of course, a facetime call will never substitute a hug, but looking into each others’ eyes while talking is still a lot better than texting. Try your best to make time for longer video calls just like you would make time for an actual date. 

• Try to keep positive when talking to them (but do let them know when something is wrong)

These are exceptionally hard times for everyone and it can be hard to keep a happy face. It is important though to try to cheer each other up.

Try to cherish the time you can spend together (even if apart) and keep a positive attitude. If your partner sees you with a smile on your face, chances are they will smile too.

Of course, this should not mean hiding your feelings from them, if anything bad happens, it is important to let them in on how you feel. Otherwise, try to avoid being too nostalgic and keep complaints about the distance to a minimum.

• Dirty talk

Sexting is a good way to spice things up even when distant. Though it is important to talk to your partner about this beforehand, make sure they are comfortable with it and how far they are willing to take it.

• Send them a gift

Get something delivered to them every once in a while for no apparent reason or when you know they have had a long day. This could be flowers, their favourite take out food, a handwritten letter, or anything that you know they will appreciate!

This is all advice that could help you and your partner to get through the lockdown feeling a bit closer even through the distance.

Nevertheless, keep in mind that every couple has different needs, and the best way to understand them is discussing them together. 

Need more ideas on how to fill your time during lockdown? Look no further:

• We found the best takeaway mulled wine during Lockdown 2.0
• That’s what friends are for – the importance of friendship in lockdown
• Locking down the world, but not hearts: Dating apps still a hit

Words and video: Sara Guadrini | Subediting: Warshma Chughtai